I’m strong and I don’t need anyone to carry me or to cheer me up when I’m down . I’ve always thought I could do all of that by myself but you know what it’s very wrong, I’ve always pushed people away from me because i don’t wanna get hurt or hurt anybody, it sucks when most of guys I’ve met care only about my body ,they just want to be able to grab my ass and feel my body against them, they don’t give a damn about me , about how sweet and a cool person I am , but I still don’t wanna get that close to anyone, I don’t wanna fall in love, love hurts right! , I don’t want anyone to fall for me , I don’t wanna get used to someone then end up by being alone in my room Remembering every second we spent together.
I’m just gonna tell you about this guy who gave me so much to remember, he may read this he may not, it doesn’t matter, I’m just writing about it because I think it’s kinda special for me.
So we met at the gym, we started working out together, texting, talking about everything, I knew he liked me since the first day we met, but I didn’t know that I like him back till that crazy night I spent with my friends and my cousin, till another guy started talking about my butt, I realized how much I like him, I realized how much he cares about my soul , I kept talking about him all night. My cousin didn’t let me call him, but I did in the next morning, we met , I liked him more , that was the last time I saw him before I get hurt. He moved out for university, we just kept texting, he came back in holidays, he promised to meet up a few times but it didn’t happen for a stupid reason, because he called me and I didn’t answer .We didn’t talk for a month, till that night when I was on my way home from the gym and I saw him, I just kept looking at him, realizing how bad I’ve missed him,and how bad I wanna hug him, but then I just said It’s time for me to go home. I texted him after few weeks, we talked, he promised that we’re gonna spend some time together in the next holidays which are in 5 weeks. But then I hesitated again and I just told him that I don’t feel the same way anymore, I had no coice, I didn’t want to lose him. We didn’t talk until he texted me a few days before holidays and asked if we could watch a movie together on Sunday, I was waiting and waiting for his call on, he didn’t call, I was worried if something happened with him.
He promised that he’ll make it up for me. He actually did, a day before he leaves again for university , I can remember every detail, I finally touched his lips, I finally kissed him.
When he left, he disappointed me, I thought everything is going to change and be better, he did not answer my calls and my texts, I kept trying to know what’s happening, till he told me that he’s back with his ex and that he loves her.